September 25, 2012 by fitterfatty
During my college years, my bff and I were the queens of making epic top ten lists. I wish I still had some to share, because they would blow your mind with awesomeness. I actually carried around a small notebook in my purse, so that I could create a top ten list on the spot at any moment. Some of the best lists were made in South America and included euro mullets, mom buns, all sorts of ancient architecture, high altitude booze festivals, and hiking sandals that had no business ever making an appearance in a dance club (but did anyway).
So, I want to bring back the tradition.
Top 10 Ways to Become a Faster Runner
10. Run through farmland, because farmers wouldn’t dream of breaking their dog’s spirit with a fenced yard or leash. It’s like running a gauntlet, with wild dogs nipping at your heals (you are guaranteed some sprinting practice).
9. Run up a hill. Run down a hill. Repeat until you feel sick. Then repeat once more.
8. Eat a bunch of veggies the night before a long run. You’ll be booking it to the nearest bathroom. This is definitely not my preferred method, but admittedly very effective.
7. Understand that every run can’t be a PR, so stop sulking and get back out there after a rough one.
6. Go running with someone faster than you. Seriously. Don’t be scared.
5. Know the difference between discomfort and injury, and get cozy with discomfort.
4. Do things the hard way, until they get easier. Then find a harder way. Repeat.
3. Run through a shady neighborhood (like mine). You’ll want to spend as little time as possible in the neighborhood, and have to incorporate some interval training when a bum stumbles at you.
2. Plan a run, but then procrastinate just long enough that you have to push yourself in order to finish your run in the allotted time. This one is my preferred method.
1. Rest. I lied, this one is my preferred method.
*If you want legitimate running advice, you’ve come to the wrong place. Intervals, fartleks, tempo runs, blah, blah blah. I don’t have enough experience to give anyone sound advice; it would be like the blind leading the blind… only with more pants pooping.
My new goal: run a 5k in under 20 min. I’m getting close!!!